Sing To Me, Please
by Warehouse-14-Agent
Summary: A collection of song fanficitons containing the pairing/friendship of Dan Howell and Phil Lester. Songs will mostly be from bands: Bring Me The Horizon, Pierce The Veil, Paramore, and etc. If you'd like to request a song, you may. Please read and review. Note that some of these may be triggering as they may include mentions of suicide, self-harming, etc.
1. A Match Into Water by Pierce The Veil

It all happened so suddenly,  
it was as if Dan had blinked, and Phil vanished.

He had found his best friend lying on the bathroom floor, and an empty pill bottle was laid down beside him. For the first time Dan saw the scars on Phil's ghostly white wrists. Some of them were pink with healing, while others were stained crimson with novelty. The pinking scars made him question exactly how long his best friend had been so tormented.

So broken,  
and in need of mending.

Dan then wondered why he hadn't noticed something was wrong before. Why he didn't see that his best friend was so destroyed, but the question was: by what? Who or what had made Phil want to end his life all together?

Had it been some cunts out there in the world that had hated on him? Had it been some Dan's own fans that had insulted him? Was it himself? Had what once been playful cruelty turned into something so much more horrific that it hurt Phil? And Dan hadn't even noticed?

These questions were just the beginning.

These questions grabbed him around the throat like an attacker. They began to drown him in what seemed to be a bottomless lake. The metaphorical water began to fill his lungs, causing breathing to become difficult.

Dan tried screaming. Screaming out, but of course no one heard him because he only called for Phil. He wanted his companion back. Phil was like a big brother, a best friend, and a lover all rolled into one person for Dan. He was so precious to the dark brunet left behind.

Yet, now his best friend-big brother-and-lover was gone.

Dan continued screaming out internal for a while, until one day someone heard him.

Someone who looked so much similar to Phil it hurt for Dan to look at her at first, but he became used to it.

Yes, the person he met was a girl.  
But this is not the usual cliché movie idea.  
Where the girl comes in, comforts him, and the two of them fall for each other.

No,  
that's not what this is at all.  
If you let me explain,  
it will make more sense.

So, here we go:

It was one afternoon when Dan was forced by Chris and PJ to get out of the apartment for a little while, and the three of them went to get coffee. This only created more immense sadness for Dan because this was something they usually did, except one was missing from the fantastic foursome.

Phil.

And that's when Dan's eyes began to play the trick on him.  
By torturing him more and making him think he saw his dead companion.

Dan, PJ, and Chris were exiting their local Starbucks when Dan spotted something familiar out of the corner of his eye. Turning, he saw the back view of Phil. Or what he thought to be Phil. The jet black hair styled the same, purple shirt, and tight black skinny jeans with vans to accompany the outfit.

This person looked like Phil, yes,  
but height was all off and was gender.

Of course, Dan didn't take this into account. His eyes were playing with him, were tormenting him into thinking his best friend really wasn't dead.

Without much thinking, Dan rushed over to Phil, and hugged him from behind. Burying his face into his friend's shoulder and sobbing softly. His hears were filled with the sound of his crying and the pounding of his beating heart that he couldn't hear PJ and Chris shouting at him.

When Dan finally looked up, he realized that he was not met with Phil's familiar beautiful face. No, he was met with an unfamiliar face. One that was much softer and instead of ice-blue eyes there were deep dark blue eyes that resembled a midnight sky.

That's when Dan's mind processed that the person he hugged and cried on was not Phil, but a smaller girl with similar features like his companion.

This realization caused Dan's eyes to tear up more.

"I'm so sorry," Dan whispered to the girl; stepping away from her. He over looked her once again and noticed that she was wearing the purple shirt with him and Phil's chibis printed on it. She was a fan of them; this made a small half-smile crack on Dan's lips for a split second before disappearing.

The smaller girl grabbed a hold of his hand; causing Dan to look up back into her eyes. Her eye color switched into an ice-blue like Phil's before returning normal.

"That's alright, Dan, I'm sorry I'm not Phil." she murmured, Dan searched for sympathy in her eyes. Something that he didn't want, but he only saw apology.

Dan glanced down at their intertwined hands before replying, "It's alright that you're not Phil." Dan muttered. He mentally face-palmed himself at how ignorant his response was, but the girl clearly didn't think much of it.

"I'm Alyssa, by the way. I know what it's like to lose your best friend to suicide. I'm sorry about what happened to Phil." she whispered before hugging Dan. Her arms wrapped around his waist and she rested her head on his chest.

Dan began to get teary-eyed once again, this girl reminded him so much of Phil. His companion was so affectionate and sweet just like Alyssa. It killed Dan, but at the same time it warmed his heart that had been turned to ice.

"And I don't mean to intrude, but if you would like to talk someone I'm here." Alyssa told him. Dan found it a little strange that this girl was being so kind to him. Then he looked her up and down again, noticing her AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire t-shirt. She was a fan of both him and Phil. There was obviously more to her, and honestly Dan wanted to get know her more.

After explaining to an apprehensive Chris and PJ as to what was happening; Dan invited Alyssa to come to his apartment with him. Which Alyssa accepted, and then was led by the dark brunet to his home.

There at the apartment the two of them talked,  
Dan explained everything that he had been feeling.

How he had been feeling like he was drowning,  
how he felt as if it was his fault that Phil was dead.

Alyssa assured him that everything would be fine.  
Assured him that it wasn't his fault,  
and that it was okay to feel the way he did.

Soon enough, as in exactly five months of knowing each other, the nineteen-year-old girl moved in with the twenty-two-year-old boy. She wasn't quite comfortable taking Phil's old room, therefore Dan took Phil's room, and Alyssa took Dan's.

Everything seemed fine with Dan.  
He was getting better.

That was until his usual existential life crisis came over him.

And he began to wonder exactly what he was supposed to do with his life now.  
He didn't want to do his videos anymore really.  
He loved his fans and all, but without Phil occasionally featuring in his videos.  
Without Phil to film his videos,

there was nothing special about them.  
The thought didn't please Dan in the least.

He didn't let Alyssa know this however. No, he kept it to himself. Dan had learned a little something about Alyssa as the two began to become close friends.

She was very empathetic towards others' emotions, and it affected her in more ways than one. Sometimes it affected her health, and sometimes her sleep. It was just something about Alyssa that Dan found both sweet and worrying.

Dan didn't want to worry her.  
Not anymore at least.

Dan missed Phil,  
he needed to see him again,  
and there was only one way to do that:

So, one night Dan snuck into Alyssa's room while she was sleeping and kissed her on her forehead in goodbye. He marveled at her beauty for a moment before venturing out, and back into his room once more.

Turning on his camera, he sat down in front of it, and began:

"_I'm sorry; Alyssa, but I can't worry you anymore. I miss Phil and I need him more than anyone can ever understand. You've been a wonderful friend and housemate. I love you, and please don't do what I'm about to do. I know how much I mean to you, but please. Stay strong for Phil and me._"

Turning off his camera, he switched his gaze over to the pill bottle and beer sitting on the dresser next to him.

Uncapping both the beverage and the bottle, he downed all of the pills.  
And every last drop of beer.

Then he closed his eyes,  
and whispered goodbye one last time.  
Before flying away.

And he was greeted with the familiar face of his best friend.  
Who was rather displeased with his action, but accepted him all the same.

And so, the two flew high into the sky.  
All cares and worries left back down on Earth.


	2. Hold On Till May by Pierce The Veil

"_You're worthless."_

"_Just kill yourself already."_

"_No one would miss you."_

"_Phil would find another flatmate in no time."_

"_No one would care."_

"_Just slit your wrist, you little cunt."_

"_Go ahead, and break skin."_

He wasn't quite sure as to the reason behind the voices inside his head. Was this something normal? Did people normally hear voices in their minds scream such negativity? If so, why was it happening now? When he should be cramming information into his head for the law exam he had the following day.

Of course it was.

These were things Dan had heard over the years during primary and secondary school days. Not so much as to now-a-days, yet, it still didn't make sense to Dan. Why the voices inside his head were telling him such awful things.

But sadly they were winning.

Considering how Dan never really had a best friend during school he was sort of left to deal with the negativity alone. He didn't ever really voice out his problems to his small clique of friends, because he wasn't close to any of them. Over time, he sort of came to believe that all the bad things others were spatting him were true.

Which leads to the voices winning, and win the voices did.

After downing an entire bottle of wine, Dan stumbled into the bathroom and found his razor. The razor he used to shave of course. At first he dropped the little blade of his, afraid to even hold it. Picking it up off the tile floor, however, he didn't drop it again.

Instead, he began.

He broke skin and bubbles of blood began to form at the surface of his pale skin. The burning pain made him want to scream out, but at the same time…it was so pleasant. Therefore he did it again, and again, and again, and again. Until there were five bleeding cuts on his wrist. In a sort of sickening manner, the bleeding scars were beautiful to him. In a way that he might find a girl or guy beautiful.

That thought sort of terrified him.

Then something inside him remembered something someone once said- or rather wrote to him- really.

"_Did you know that if you cut vertically you can kill yourself?"_

That's how she had worded it, this person being Violet. A pretty name for a pretty girl who did such ugly things to herself. She was the closest thing Dan had to a best friend; she was a close friend, but not too close to be considered the best of companions.

She was one of those individuals who was happy and sad at the same time, but didn't exactly know why. Dan didn't understand it, but he still found her a nice person. Despite all of her dark thoughts that she'd talk about with him sometimes, yet she was still sweet as fuck to him.

Although towards the end of their sophomore year, she committed suicide. Dan was mortified when he found out that the blond-haired girl had ended her life. Which just the simple use of a razor, cutting at a certain angle, and that's all it took. It was that simple.

Violet addressed Dan personally in her suicide note too, told him that she loved him. Dan always had a feeling she was fond of him more than a friend. He just wished he had the chance to tell her that he loved her too.

"_Did you know that if you cut vertically you can kill yourself?"_

"_Kill yourself already."_

"_Go ahead, you've already cut yourself, do it."_

Just as Dan was about to cut vertically across his wrist near his main vein…he was stopped by a familiar voice he loved to hear.

"D-Dan?"

Except at the moment Dan really didn't want to hear Phil's voice. He wasn't ready to face his best friend with his sin.

Dan turned and looked at Phil with wide brown eyes filled with tears threatening to spill. The razor in his left hand, and his right wrist continued to bleed.

"Oh, love, what've you done to your wrist?" Phil whispered before entering the bathroom, his ice-blue gaze fixed upon his best friend's wrist. Dan allowed his tears to fall down and he dropped the razor just as he did the first time he held.

"Oh, love, please don't cry." Phil murmured, kicking the razor out of the way so that he could stand in front of Dan. The older black-haired boy used his thumbs to wipe away Dan's tears. Then Phil began to gather some gauze and a wet rag.

Dan let more tears escape down his face as Phil began to gently clean his wounds. Not because it stung slightly, but for the fact that this wouldn't be happening if he hadn't cut himself.

Once Phil got the gauze wrapped around Dan's injured arm, he looked up into the brown eyes of his best friend.

It broke Phil's heart to see the tear-stained cheeks of the boy he loved. He took a hold of Dan's hands before beginning to question him.

"Why did you?"

There was a moment of silence before Dan began to babble away his answer: "I-I was just studying for my exam, a-and these voices in my head…they told me awful things. I d-don't like the voices, Phil. Am I insane?" Dan cried.

"No, no, no. Love, you're not insane. You're okay, you're okay. You're just thinking about the past again. You'll be okay." Phil whispered, pulling Dan into a hug.

"Please don't do that to yourself, you're too beautiful for that." Phil muttered; running his fingers through Dan's dark brown hair to soothe him.

Upon hearing this, Dan looked up at his taller friend. Brown eyes colliding with ice-blues, and Dan could tell that Phil meant every single word he just spoke.

That's when a bubble of courage popped inside of Dan.

"I love you, Phil." Dan stated, and he watched as Phil's serious expression lifted as his lips curved into a smile. Phil planted a kiss on Dan's forehead, "I love you too, Dan." and again Dan could tell by Phil's eyes that he meant it all.

With that, Phil led Dan into his room, and that's where Dan slept for the night. All cuddled up in Phil's arms in his bed.

Alright, so, the voices didn't completely win.


	3. She's So Mean by Matchbox Twenty

Phil sat on the small black couch in his apartment. His ice-blue eyes glued to the latest episode of Doctor Who that displayed on his television screen. So engrossed in the show, he was quite startled when a knock came at his front door. Looking through the small hole drilled into his door, he saw a pair of dark brown eyes staring back up at him. Those brown eyes being all too familiar with him, he unlocked the door, and smiled to greet his companion.

Yet, his smile disappeared once he got a full view.

His beautiful friend was beaten. His right eye was blackened, his hair was stained red with blood, and lower lip was busted. Phil gasped at the sight of him so disheveled and broken.

"Oh my God, Dan, what happened?!" Phil questioned, then stepping inside to allow Dan to enter his small apartment.

"S-she's n-never hit me b-before...I-I d-don't what I d-did w-wrong." Dan murmured to his black-haired companion who lead him into the kitchen, and picked him up to set him down on the counter.

"Evangelina did this to you?" Phil wondered, grabbing an ice pack from the freezer for Dan to put on his injured eye. He watched as Dan nodded his head.

"I-I told her t-that I w-wanted to b-break up with her for real t-this time. I-I told her I-I loved s-someone else. S-she punched me in the eye first; t-then in my lip. S-she mashed a b-beer bottle on my head, I-I was unconscious for a w-while. Then, I came here." Dan stuttered in explanation.

Upon hearing this, anger burned inside Phil. He never liked Dan's girlfriend, Phil knew Dan deserved so much better. Someone like him, but Phil knew that Dan would never leave Evangelina. Dan just wasn't good with breaking up with people. That much Phil was aware of, but now, Dan needed to leave her. Before she abused him again.

"A-am I a-a cheater, Phil? F-for l-loving someone else while I'm with her?" Dan squeaked, a tear fell down his cheek. Phil realized how terrified this nineteen-year-old boy was. How shaken he was, and it only made Phil's anger towards Evangelina grow more. Yet, his concern and love for Dan overpowered that. Allowing Phil to focus on his scared companion.

"No, no, no, love. You're not a cheater, it's okay. It's okay to love someone else. That's good, because she's not doing you any good. You need to leave her, because I don't ever want to see her do this to you again." Phil whispered, as he held the younger male in his arms. He could feel Dan's tears begin to soak into his shirt; Phil rubbed his back comfortingly.

After a good few moments of having Dan cry into him, Phil lead him into the bathroom; instructing Dan to lean over the bathtub. Phil began to clean Dan's hair of the blood in it. Then he blow-dried his soft dark brown hair and straightened it for him, knowing that his companion couldn't stand having his curly hobbit hair.

Phil let Dan borrow a pair of his pajama pants and one his t-shirts to sleep in; the two of them sat on Phil's bed in silence for a while before Phil remembered something from earlier.

"So, who do you love now?" Phil wondered. He lifted up his gaze to look into Dan's brown eyes before Dan turned his gaze away.

"Is it a boy or girl?" Phil asked, trying to get some sort of answer out of his friend.

"A boy," Dan whispered, not wanting to meet Phil's gaze in the least bit.

"Do I know this boy?" Phil questioned, a twinge of hope burning inside him.

"Mhm," Dan hummed, fiddling with his fingers now. Trying extremely hard not to look up into Phil's blue eyes.

"Is it me?" the question was out of Phil's mouth before he could even process as to what he said. Phil's eyes widened in shock and he slapped his hand over his mouth.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I-

Phil was cut off as he felt Dan press his lips against his own. The kiss was soft and gentle, having to regard Dan's poor busted lip. Phil had to restrict himself from slightly nibbling on his best friend's lip.

The two of them broke apart, brown connected with blue, and both boys had wide grins spread across their faces. There was nothing else to be said, obviously the question had been answered loud and clear.

Suddenly, Dan's phone began to ring. The caller ID name flashed with 'My Girlfriend3' on it. Dan picked the phone off of the table, answered it, and put it on speaker. So that Phil could hear what Evangelina had to say too.

"_Dan James Howell, where the fuck are you?! No...wait...I know where you are. You're with that Lester guy, huh?! Probably having a gay make-out session with him too. Get your ass back home now!_"

'Let me handle this.' Phil mouthed to Dan before turning the speaker off, and holding the phone up to his ear.

"Listen here, Evangelina. Dan deserves so much better than you, you little bitch. He's so fucking beautiful, and amazing, and you're just a whore! You fucking abused him, and I never want to see him like that again. He's with me now, and you can fucking get over it. Or I can just turn you in for being a slut-bag and having sex with someone three years younger than you. Now, leave him alone!" Phil shouted into the phone before hanging up.

There was a blush across Dan's cheeks and a small cute smile on his face.

"You really think I'm beautiful and amazing?" Dan wondered.

"Of course I do, love." Phil answered, grabbing Dan by the waist and laying them both down softly on his bed. Dan snuggling himself into Phil's chest.

"I love you, Dan." Phil said the four words he's been wanting to say ever since he met the boy; closing his eyes he began to drift away into sleep, but not before hearing:

"I love you too, Phil."


End file.
